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Rashad Hammoud Funny Status Messages
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The BIG difference between men and women is that women will complain if they switched genders while men will appreciate the opportunity!
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01-24-2012 02:47 by
Rashad Hammoud
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I've been told I have a face for Photoshop.
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06-13-2011 10:07 by
Rashad Hammoud
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I wonder if all hot girls go through life believing that everyone is being genuinely nice to them all the time.
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06-13-2011 10:06 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Got this great new calorie counting app. Each day I go for a new high score.
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06-13-2011 10:06 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Woke up with a smile after noticing I have as many NBA rings as LeBron.
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06-13-2011 10:03 by
Rashad Hammoud
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My girlfriend says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
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06-07-2011 16:57 by
Rashad Hammoud
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If a genie were to give me 3 wishes... goodbye Kardashians!
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06-07-2011 16:56 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease and irritate each other, knock each other down, but can't live without each other.
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06-07-2011 16:51 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
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05-23-2011 10:55 by
Rashad Hammoud
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If you watch Godzilla vs. King Kong backwards it's about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city
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05-23-2011 10:48 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Just denied 47 requests to play FarmVille, apparently I need new friends.
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05-23-2011 10:44 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Google turned 12 this year, so now we have 1 more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything!
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05-23-2011 10:42 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
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03-03-2011 03:17 by
Rashad Hammoud
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They've asked me to appear on “I Shouldn't Be Alive.” I didn't survive anything. They just don't like me.
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03-03-2011 03:16 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
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02-08-2011 15:16 by
Rashad Hammoud
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I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
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02-08-2011 15:14 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Guys, it's time to start working on those apologies for Valentine's Day.
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02-08-2011 15:13 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
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02-03-2011 17:03 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
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02-03-2011 16:59 by
Rashad Hammoud
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I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status.
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02-03-2011 16:58 by
Rashad Hammoud
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