Mduduzi Funny Status Messages

   needs advice and help, but not from you.

   The Chinese are so advanced in technology, that they are already selling "Fifa World Cup 2010, South Africa - All the goals and highlights"

   A man has been admitted to hospital with HYPOTHERMIA AND FROSTBITES after he was left CHILLING at HOME for the whole day by his wife! A COLD CASE FILE has been opened!

     The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably generally they are the same people.

     It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

   If a woman wants a man who can take orders, they should marry a waiter!

     When they say "instant credit," they actually mean "instant debt"!

   5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

   Dear Beer,I forgive You for abandoning me during tough times during the week, I love You for coming back on weekend and will French kiss You, till sobriety do us apart!

     You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

   Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible

   Avoid being late, just don't show up!

   A woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.

   I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his c**k wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

   I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into her again.

   Be careful when someone wants to take you to ANOTHER LEVEL, I listened to that and now I am in another level, but much lower than I was before!

   Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

   The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.