Joseph Robert Funny Status Messages

   Now he really IS the artist formally known as Prince

   Nuke the Chinese! ...I mean microwave the take out

   Pee is the enemy of sleep

   One word: Ballgazi

   Dear media: please stop rhyming things with the word "Gate"

   #OscarsGoWhite??? More N igs just crying b/c they want something they don't deserve. What BS!

   I would love to put all the girls I slept with in one room to see if they can figure out what they all had in common

   It's a shame that all these die-in protesters aren't actually dying

   I don't know why they need a whole month, they get the busiest Friday of the year

   Biden's son, another example of someone out douching their douchey parent

   RIP Joan Rivers. She was 80 years old. Her nose was 31, and her lips sadly were only 22. So young!

   Finally brings some authenticity to his movie, Dead Poets Society don't ya think?

   "If ya can't beat them, kill 'em" -Tony Stewart

   playing my favorite game today, Gun Shots or Fireworks?

   Do you think after the World Cup they all have orange slices and drink capri suns after the game and then their moms pick them up in their minivans? ‪#‎SoccerSucks‬

   I can't wait until all these 100 days of happiness people get to day 69. Maybe then my news feed will finally be interesting

   Women need to learn how to use Snapchat. It's only for sexting, I don't want to see pictures of your feet or your new perm

   I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies

   Earth Day sounds like birthday, and that just makes me want cake. So thanks for making me fat Earth Day

   some of you people are taking the term Fat Tuesday way too seriously