John Y Funny Status Messages

   Beyonce is sending prayers to her hometown of Houston... I bet if Harvey was a BLM protester tearing things up she'd be sending bail money.

   I am not usually one to brag, but I was able to get my daily recommended calorie intake for weight loss down in just one sitting!

   I feel like everybody judges me when I say Worcestershire sauce...

   Don't eat the green snow!!!

   The guy standing in front of me should probably step out of line and go grab himself some sort of antidiarrheal medication. All he had to do was sneeze for me to be pretty sure that he has the stomach flu...

   Here's a thought...How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

   If psychics and palm readers knew anything they'd have hand washing stations.

   "You know I'm a dude right?" Are not the words you want whisped in your ear today!

   If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...

   I've decided on my Valentine's Day date...Its going to be whoever sits down next to me at Fricker's. Fingers crossed that its a girl this year!

   Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine's day. Just an FYI.

   How was the peaceful protest at Berkeley last night? Did they quitely sing kumbaya?

   Children's berry flavored delsym on the rocks... For when you're sick but still want a drink to sip on.

   Guy's if you want to do your own thing in the upcoming new year, get your wife/girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue for christmas.

   Now when she say's "deplorable" does she mean like when her husband stuck a cigar in places it didn't belong? I'm just trying to set a precedent here...

   Now Dammit! The sign says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service." It said nothing of pants! It's so hot...

   anybody else hoping to see John Hinckley Jr at the next Hillary rally?

   It's not the heat, it's the humidity...That's just dumb, and it shows your stupidity!

   Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.

   The FBI interviewed the Orlando Shooter 3 times. Just an FYI to you killary supporters that think she's so great.