Corey c Funny Status Messages

   It was a toss up tonight between turning on the nightly news or migrating to Singapore to get an Organ illegally harvested.

   Still waiting to be awarded the bronze medal in "Channel Surfing" from the international Olympic committee!!!!...

   Be careful how many sticks and stones you throw at others because some are skilled at building catapults.

   Just experienced that rare moment when you flip your hoody up just right and realize that if ever called upon you could wield a light saber and take orders from a little green creature with big ears.....

   excuse me......Is that a spray on tan or did you roll in a bag of doritos???????????????????

   before getting married there are 2 words a man must know that are crucial to his survival....."Yes Dear"........

   When god created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again.....

   Ever wonder why the side of the car says" to protect and serve"????? Protect the donuts and serve the coffee................

   ahh yes the 7-11 Big Gulp. How much soda can one person drink???? If I ever get one again I will make sure the bed of my truck is cleaned out and I have a hand dolly to wheel it out of the store..............

   best friend....someone who walks in with a flashlight when life is the darkest....

   I went and saw beauty and the beast the other day, it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. He was pushing a cart and she was drinking a diet coke while sifting through the 5 dollar movies at Wal Mart........

   Life is to short to bicker and cry before we die.....

   dear lady in the store yelling at your child, take a time out and comb the snakes in your hair, it is time for you to defeat the kraken

   when judging someone for falling down remember someday you may need them to help you up.

   Heard a dude in the stall next to me in the Walmart Bathroom say "There can be only One".. He is either a Highlander or he needs some more toilet paper.......

   Got a friend request the other day from someone I didn't know. Checked out her friends list to see a connection and she had a collection of Corey's. Scary, she wanted me to become her 312th Corey friend in her Corey collection.........Makes me a little un

   The nice thing about being overweight is, if challenged, you can crush the competition....on a lighter note, you can then finish your donut......

   Love how you keep me warm and make me feel safe. Never a scornfull word or negative comment. Always pick me up when I am feeling down. You smell good all the time and are steaming with pleasure.......Coffee, I think I love you........

   Remembers the dude that answered his door in sweats and a motley crue tshirt who forgot it was Halloween? He rumages through his cupboards and out of guilt gives you 10 pop tarts and a tube of pringles...........Halloween Jackpot.........

   Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.