Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Why are you all still shooting off fireworks? It's July 8th for crying out loud! One of them flew off course and almost hit my Christmas tree!
←Rate | 07-08-2025 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of camping is a Motel 6 with a broken ice machine and no cable.
←Rate | 07-05-2025 21:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If casual sex exists that implies the existence of ranked competitive sex
←Rate | 07-04-2025 23:32 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun Independence Day depends on your number of dependents.
←Rate | 07-04-2025 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Diddy be giddy cause he be founded not gitty!" - The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran
←Rate | 07-02-2025 14:48 by FassyLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had White Castle for dinner tonight. It was so good my butt gave them a big blowout review.
←Rate | 06-30-2025 02:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Panties aren't the best thing in the world. But they're next to it.
←Rate | 06-26-2025 21:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never understand people saying "Rest In Peace" when someone dies. Of course they're resting in peace. They're dead.
←Rate | 06-26-2025 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, Dawn. Show us how well you clean dishes. We ain't got no oily duck.
←Rate | 06-25-2025 21:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're unhappy with summer heat, remember this... you never have to shovel sunshine off your sidewalk.
←Rate | 06-25-2025 08:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Envy, laziness Envy, laziness, and incompetency gave birth to communism.and incompetency gave birth to communism.
←Rate | 06-24-2025 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 150 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hamas is not what it used to be. You can see they don't have the money anymore. Instead of 70 virgins, martyrs now get a gift certificate to Olive Garden.
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick Question: Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
←Rate | 06-20-2025 08:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do members of Isis practice safe sex? A. They mark the camels that kick.
←Rate | 06-20-2025 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's up with refried beans? Once should be enough.
←Rate | 06-19-2025 12:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never let your mouth be Broadband when your brain's on Dial Up.
←Rate | 06-19-2025 08:15 Comments (0)  


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