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I want to spit on Eric too. 
Still waiting to use “y=mx + b” in real life
Give that man two medals! One for being an idiot and another in case he loses the first one.
Bernie Sanders has been in Congress since 1991 and all of a sudden he's worried about student debt? Hmmm...
Why are we hating on people for taking jobs we don't even want???
july 4th
I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..
At least Buffalo Bill gave his prisoners lotion and a basket.
To clarify: teachers are not "off for the summer", they are in recovery.
Cable guys was just in my neighborhood, asked me what time it was.. I said between 8am-1pm..
anybody knows the booking agent to DR? its for my ex
I was arrested by a policeman for sitting in the park not doing anything. The charge was impersonating a politician.
(eats exactly one apple) where is my health you wretched orb!
I was talking to the local kids last night, telling them they are ruining what our fore father's created. One kid said, "my mom sleeps around but I ain't got four fathers!". I shook my head and got his mom's number.
I'm giving myself a medal for taking care of a problem I created in the first place.
I start every day with Cap'n Crunch, and end every day with Captain Morgan because apparently I want to be a Pirate..
You've officially reached your middle ages when you have a meat trap between two teeth...
Money will change me I don't wanna lie. So please enjoy me while I am still broke.
Lets just paint a happy little red wave right here ~Bob Ross~
From the size of the crowd I would say wrong again .