Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon In other news...the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six. One of them isn't Happy.
←Rate | 12-03-2020 18:39 by MMOH Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember when the current stupidest thing was the “Gotta Get Down on Friday” song? We didn’t know how good we had it.
←Rate | 12-03-2020 15:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Toy story 2 has yet to explain how a stuffed horse kept pace with a commercial aircraft taking off on a runway
←Rate | 12-03-2020 15:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Official quote of 2020 ... "YOU'RE ON MUTE !!"
←Rate | 12-02-2020 23:18 by @Any_Major_Dude Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is a stimulus check.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 17:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Which wine pairs best with Spicy chicken Ramen ?
←Rate | 12-02-2020 14:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wow, already December? Time flies when you've been drunk since March
←Rate | 12-02-2020 10:52 by remy911 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't drink and wrap presents. Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back...
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:28 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mrs. Claus: *opens door* you’ve been in here working on the naughty list all day Santa Claus: *fumbling to close his internet browser* I need PRIVACY please
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I vote for Chinx getting the vaccine last.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This holiday season, make sure to confront your family about current issues like for example: how they choose to pronounce “pecans”.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *feeling chest pain* probably need more pie
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve watched enough Dexter to know if he’s lying about one thing he might also be lying about a lot of other things and secretly a serial killer.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I learned that you never bring a ‘I did the dishes’ to a ‘you never pick things up’ fight
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mom finally brought my Dad’s urn into the living room and placed it on the mantle. It caught everyone a little off guard including my Dad who was just sitting there watching Duck Dynasty.
←Rate | 12-02-2020 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me to my son: "Hey, look at this article. It says, 'Vaccines are ready to roll, thanks to beeyotch." My son: "That word is 'biotech', dad."
←Rate | 12-02-2020 07:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon thank you all for donating to my gofundme to pay for my surgery; I have decided to buy 600 playstations with the money
←Rate | 12-02-2020 07:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas decorations should come with coupons for couples counseling.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 15:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I used to think nudism was weird. Then I started doing my own laundry.
←Rate | 12-01-2020 14:30 Comments (0)  


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