Jake Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 10:41 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon such an adrenaline junky that when I see a 'caution wet floor sign' I walk faster
←Rate | 09-15-2009 12:13 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon says "If Heat Rises, Surely Heaven is Hotter Than Hell"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 12:45 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:05 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:21 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:22 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon should not be mistaken for Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, just because there appears to be a large package in his pants.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 08:18 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon when the river runs red, take the dirt road...
←Rate | 01-07-2010 07:52 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 19:25 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost
←Rate | 01-22-2010 07:35 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 07:34 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon committed to TWAT. (The War Against Terrorism)
←Rate | 01-28-2010 13:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon annoyed that these guys like Clooney, Cruise, and DeNiro are all picking me as their celebrity look-alike. Get a life losers.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 14:16 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon such an unthoughtful farmer that he wants to smash his neighbor's White Mystery Eggs and slaughter their Baby Calf if he can't get them off his News Feed.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon (insert random song lyrics that describe how I feel, even though nobody cares)
←Rate | 03-15-2010 11:26 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I'm wide awake. Not sure who won, though.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 13:30 by Jake Comments (3)  

   messageicon It's going to be a Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 09:17 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon digesting the fact you've moved onto better things.. LOL JKS you're new boyfriend looks like a retard.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 01:49 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes. And thougt how easily their entertained. Then realized, I just watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon . I think mydog looks out the window when I leave for work to see that's it safe to lay on the sofa.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 17:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


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