truman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Good news for insomniacs! Only 2 more sleeps to Christmas!
←Rate | 11-14-2018 06:29 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd just like to congratulate the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table! They're basically everywhere now!
←Rate | 11-06-2018 04:46 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
←Rate | 07-30-2018 19:28 by Truman Comments (3)  


   messageicon I read this article earlier..that said.."cows have four stomachs"...and I wondered if anyone had checked this?..because it sounds like the sort of thing a cow would come out with to get more food?
←Rate | 09-12-2018 20:39 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not so great minds also think alike!
←Rate | 11-29-2018 07:42 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Planning a trip to Australia..I was asked if I had a criminal record?..I didn't know you still needed one?
←Rate | 06-22-2018 08:35 by Truman Comments (2)  


   messageicon Does rocking a vending machine count as exercise?
←Rate | 09-17-2018 13:00 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog is one of those trained to sniff drugs!..he's brilliant and can even roll up his own $20 bill.
←Rate | 09-21-2018 19:15 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Girlfriend says our sex-life is so bad because I get so easily distracted? Ah well!..back to it I suppose!
←Rate | 10-21-2018 05:44 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Who let the dogs out?" - [Pavlov getting annoyed]
←Rate | 11-26-2018 13:23 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements, which included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later?
←Rate | 11-20-2018 02:58 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out that сосk fighting is done with chickens? That's 12 months of training gone to waste!
←Rate | 09-21-2018 05:58 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is anyone else finding it difficult to log on to dyslexics.moc?
←Rate | 11-11-2018 20:21 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by, "that's him officer"
←Rate | 10-19-2018 12:04 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: "So he was medium build, grey hair, grey eyes, grey tie, a grey suit and grey shoes?" DOG: "Correct"
←Rate | 09-15-2018 08:01 by Truman Comments (2)  


   messageicon I hate it when I click on a porn video and I can see myself in the screen while it's loading?
←Rate | 06-19-2018 07:46 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Girlfriend said she's leaving in the morning because of my "Wham" obsession! I replied... "wake me up before you go go"
←Rate | 09-15-2018 16:00 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls! The most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
←Rate | 09-23-2018 06:58 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm singing and people join in. B*tch, this aint glee.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 06:43 by truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've started visiting orgies dressed as a Ninja-Turtle! I'm really coming out of my shell these days!
←Rate | 11-16-2018 07:56 by Truman Comments (0)  




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