jcow1den Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My girlfriend asked me when I last had s ex with someone that wasn't her. I said.... "back in '06". It sounds much better than "June"
←Rate | 07-20-2016 23:26 by jcow1den Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently reenacting scenes from the deadliest catch is frowned upon at the Red Lobster.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 00:38 by jcow1den Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous, but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown they’re all screaming.
←Rate | 10-05-2016 21:34 by jcow1den Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's pretty cool how much free stuff this cashier gave me at the self checkout.
←Rate | 05-18-2016 15:51 by jcow1den Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I'm calling someone, while the phone is still ringing, I rehearse to myself how I'm going to say hello..
←Rate | 08-27-2012 22:34 by jcow1den Comments (0)  

   messageicon A good man is really hard to find.. When all you're looking for are the bad ones.
←Rate | 03-19-2014 02:20 by Jcow1den Comments (0)  


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