Timboss Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hate it when I get pissed, SLAM the door, storm out of the house.. then realize I have to go back in for my car keys..
←Rate | 10-27-2010 10:12 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon just spent my Saturday watching commercials on AMC interupted by 10 minutes segments of movie..
←Rate | 01-15-2011 14:55 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry Febreeze.. I don't believe the commercials where you take the two blindfolded women into a crack house and the kitchen with the decaying meat tray and they smell Yosimte National Park.. :-/
←Rate | 08-23-2011 11:41 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon taking a trip to the "far side" today.. Yes.. I am going to Wal-Mart..
←Rate | 10-23-2010 12:12 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I would want to see Donald Trump elected as president is so we could see what his hair does when he gets off of that big helicopter...
←Rate | 04-30-2011 02:10 by timboss Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wish I could be as enthusiastic about life as my dog is about the arrival of the mail man..
←Rate | 01-18-2011 13:15 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting here watching "Undercover Boss" thinking.. Guy shows up at your job with a camera crew, screws everything up, gets you to reveal secrets about your personal life.. If you can't figure out what's going on, there's no hope left for you..
←Rate | 04-06-2013 05:34 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me? Or are the three finalists at the end of Funniest Home Videos never the funniest?
←Rate | 01-17-2012 07:20 by Timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention Al Qaeda recruits: Due to recent events, practice on the hand over hand monkeybars will be cancelled indefinitely.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 01:49 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just some helpful advice.. If someone shows up at your job with a camera crew and says they are doing a documentary about your job... you're probably on an episode of Undercover Boss..
←Rate | 09-20-2010 19:43 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day they never shut our school down for snow.. They just moved the school and made us walk further..
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:00 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 11:32 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Osama bin Laden... WINNING! .. Yours truly, Charlie Sheen..
←Rate | 05-02-2011 09:02 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the politcal climate in America today, all "Target" stores will be changing their names to "Objective"
←Rate | 01-19-2011 13:48 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon So my boss told me I was well rounded this morning... I didnt know whether to thank him.. or punch his lights out..
←Rate | 08-10-2010 09:38 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon resisting the new profile page.. Read the signs people! Today, your profile page.. tomorrow the world!
←Rate | 12-11-2010 12:55 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates it when the doctor tells me I'm going to feel a slight sensation... *shudder*
←Rate | 09-27-2010 14:31 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gee honey, I would have taken the trash out.. But I slipped and fell into the lifeboat..
←Rate | 01-18-2012 19:42 by Timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon People please!! It's not the end of the world. It's just the beginning of a new, glowing, ticking kind of world..
←Rate | 03-18-2011 13:30 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sonny Corleone would still be alive today if he'd had a pike pass.
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:22 by timboss Comments (0)  



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