TS Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think a duck's opinion of me, is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread!
←Rate | 03-07-2012 17:41 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon it appropriate for a receptionist at a sperm clinic to tell their clients "thanks for coming" as they leave?
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:06 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pepperidge Farms bread is fancy stuff. It's wrapped twice. So when you open it, it's still not open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need that extra step between me and toast!
←Rate | 03-06-2012 17:28 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet virgin wool comes from really ugly sheep!
←Rate | 03-06-2012 16:52 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm bored, I order coffee at Starbucks and tell them my name is Bueller.....Then just leave!
←Rate | 03-07-2013 14:01 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying she was tall, but the woman could hunt geese with a rake!
←Rate | 01-03-2013 21:13 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a girls track team and a group of pygmy lawyers is.....The lawyers are cunning runts!
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:08 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lose interest in books and movies that take place in the past because, hello, I know I turn out just fine.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 21:23 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would imagine if you understood morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy!
←Rate | 03-07-2012 19:06 by TS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a telescope in the peep hole of my door, so I can see who's at my door for 2 miles…..who is it???? Who's it gonna be when you get here….:)
←Rate | 05-15-2012 19:09 by TS Comments (0)  


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