Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Satan came to me in a dream and asked if I was afraid. I said, "Hell no, I married your sister, didn't I?"
←Rate | 09-07-2011 08:48 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon Someday, I hope to be able to afford an iPhone...like the girl in front of me paying for her groceries with food stamps.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 11:47 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some chick with rainbow spiked hair caught me staring. She goes, "What up, dude? Ya never did anything wild?" I said, "I got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my kid."
←Rate | 09-15-2011 20:07 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing left for me to do is to walk on water, and even at that some people would snicker and say, 'What, you can't swim?"
←Rate | 07-11-2011 03:56 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There aren't many things that I believe less in the world than than some tech support guy in India telling me his name is Jeff.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 10:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 10:39 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty much all of the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 07:09 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dad, when can I use the car?" "When you cut that long hair." Why? Jesus had long hair." "Yeah, and he walked everywhere too!"
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys...Wanna feel appreciated by your woman? Tighten all the the jar and bottle lids in the house, then leave for a day or two.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 05:20 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 21:32 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon 21 years old? 5 kids? That's not a vajayjay, that's a Pez dispenser.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 05:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The idiot that wrote about the "Porshes and Mexicans" knows how to spell Porsche.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 10:01 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not rude...I just wasn't taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can't stand.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 08:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason I don't play Scrabble online, is that I can't throw the tiles at the person who beats me.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 07:39 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's Happy Meal. A tiny burger, 8 fries, a sip of Coke, and a cheap 2¢ toy. Happy? Yeah, I'm ecstatic.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 09:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw two kids today texting each other on their cell phones while standing maybe two feet away from each other. Dear Future: I'm sorry.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 19:12 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Midas' touch, Baby! Uh huh, I gots it! Everything I'm touching is turning to gold today. Oh yeah! Wait. Never mind. F**king Cheetos.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 15:36 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
←Rate | 09-19-2011 08:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 05:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Yorkers get such a bad rap for being rude. I was visiting relatives in Manhattan, and some guy walked up to me and asked, "Excuse me,can you tell me how to get to the Empire State Building, or should I just go f**k myself?"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 20:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  



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