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X Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry...I cry. When you laugh... I laugh. When you jump out a window... I laugh some more.
X doesn't believe in superstition. It brings bad luck.
X wonders... do subliminal (send) messages (me) really (money) work?
X is feeling as sprightly today as Jim Morrison... or anyone else who has been dead for 30 years.
X Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There's apparently more traffic going to hell!!!
X is sweating like a cat at a Chinese restaurant.
X "Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools."
X At the beginning of any relationship, every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD." ... 'Later on somehow the alphabets get reversed!!!
X If you ever want to see a man cry... Put a beer in one hand and a naked woman in the other... And... MAKE HIM CHOOSE!
X discovered today that playing dead only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, and NOT at important business meetings.
X is disappointed that no matter how many times he bangs his head, he doesn't see any cartoon birds.
X is if drinking and driving is illegal, then why the hell do bars have a parking lot?
X Some people think that I assume the world revolves around me, which of course is total nonsense. The world revolves around the sun, which shines out of my a$$.
X Don't call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious."
X keeps a fake journal claiming I've done monumental stuff, so if I ever develop amnesia, I'm gonna think I'm freakin' AWESOME!
X is ☂ *~Everyone wants to be happy , Nobody wants to be in pain... But you can't have a rainbow without any rain~* ☂
X A girl broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution??? I sent them to her dad.
X thinks life is pleasant, death is peacefull... it's the transition that is troublesome.
X Don't try to understand everything.. because sometimes it is not meant to be understood... but rather to be accepted...
X Women like having four animals in the house: a jaguar in the driveway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for it.