Funny Status Messages Search

X Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry...I cry. When you laugh... I laugh. When you jump out a window... I laugh some more.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 05:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X doesn't believe in superstition. It brings bad luck.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X wonders... do subliminal (send) messages (me) really (money) work?

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)

X is feeling as sprightly today as Jim Morrison... or anyone else who has been dead for 30 years.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There's apparently more traffic going to hell!!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is sweating like a cat at a Chinese restaurant.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X "Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools."

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X At the beginning of any relationship, every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD." ... 'Later on somehow the alphabets get reversed!!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X If you ever want to see a man cry... Put a beer in one hand and a naked woman in the other... And... MAKE HIM CHOOSE!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X discovered today that playing dead only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, and NOT at important business meetings.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is disappointed that no matter how many times he bangs his head, he doesn't see any cartoon birds.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is if drinking and driving is illegal, then why the hell do bars have a parking lot?

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 06:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)

X Some people think that I assume the world revolves around me, which of course is total nonsense. The world revolves around the sun, which shines out of my a$$.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 08:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Don't call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious."

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 09:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X keeps a fake journal claiming I've done monumental stuff, so if I ever develop amnesia, I'm gonna think I'm freakin' AWESOME!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 09:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is ☂ *~Everyone wants to be happy , Nobody wants to be in pain... But you can't have a rainbow without any rain~* ☂

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2010 09:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X A girl broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution??? I sent them to her dad.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2010 17:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X thinks life is pleasant, death is peacefull... it's the transition that is troublesome.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2010 17:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Don't try to understand everything.. because sometimes it is not meant to be understood... but rather to be accepted...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2010 18:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Women like having four animals in the house: a jaguar in the driveway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2010 18:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)