Jhows21 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'Jhows21': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 2

   messageicon That  moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 17:01 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!
←Rate | 02-14-2012 13:44 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone wrote "retard" on my car window. Took me ages to lick it off
←Rate | 06-26-2012 13:43 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong.I see god is no fan of moon-walkers.
←Rate | 08-25-2012 17:10 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife keeps tapping on the window saying..."look, it's snowing"....if she keeps it up, I suppose am gonna have to let her in.....!!
←Rate | 01-18-2013 08:57 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've never gotten out of the shower and dried off with paper towels, you probably do your laundry more often than I do.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 11:18 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorious.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 05:58 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apples don't fall from my family tree, NUTS DO ..............
←Rate | 06-21-2012 03:22 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just about to poach an elephant the other day, when I suddenly thought to myself, "I'm gonna need a bigger saucepan."
←Rate | 06-27-2012 16:47 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons
←Rate | 02-15-2012 05:15 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentines day is cancelled this year 14 - 02 - 12 = 0 Mathematical proof.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:04 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm taking my Bon Jovi sat-nav back to the shop.It keeps telling me I'm halfway there.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:56 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got this text message, not sure if it's a prank:"Congratulations! You have won £250 of shopping vouchers or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act. To claim your prize, press 1 for the money, 2 for the show..."
←Rate | 06-26-2012 08:30 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News - "Wettest June since records began"I blame that 'fifty shades of grey' book.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 12:58 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder if they will take as long to clean up new York city as they did new Orleans????????
←Rate | 10-30-2012 14:09 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought my daughter an iPad, my son an iPod, myself an iPhone...and the wife an iRon. She wasn't impressed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWash, iCook and iClean network. This sadly triggered the iNag service, which in turn wip
←Rate | 05-05-2012 17:43 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man lying in bed facing his wife, looks into her eyes and says, "Looking at your face reminds me of the lottery babe", She replies "You mean I'm worth millions?" He says "No I wish you would roll over !"
←Rate | 06-07-2012 11:49 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're an ugly chick when you slip Rohypnol in your own drink and hope for the best.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 16:54 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paddy found wires sticking out of his sandwich so he phoned the police."Hello I think there's a bomb in my sandwich""Okay, is it tickin" the police man replied"No" paddy said. "I think its tuna".
←Rate | 07-07-2012 17:40 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon House party couple of doors away, music sounds awesome, wish I could rock up. Takes me back. These days my 4 yr old has mores parties.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 05:34 by Jhows21 Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left