Jayson Funny Status Messages

   I'm so miserable without you, it's almost as if you were here.

   If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?

   why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable... Like a coma.

   My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I sh*t you knot."

   When I have kids i`m going to make them watch the 2012 movie & tell them, "Yup, I survived that!" ...

   I’m so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members.

   HOW DOES A PERSON WITH EPILEPSY INTERPRET "CARPE DIEM"?

   Fact: 69% of people will find something dirty in every sentence.