Coleman Funny Status Messages

   I need a night time, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, pay my car note and utilities and buy a few groceries, so I can stay home and rest medicine.

   Karma: the joy of watching someone get what they deserve. Professionalism: the ability to sit back, enjoy the show and keep your mouth shut.

   I studied Jiu-Jitsu and Karate but if they ever start teaching classes in "Mad Black Momma in Baltimore," I'm forsaking both and signing up.

   Only a person with a drug problem will get mad at you for trying to hand them a hamburger instead of the money they ask you for to buy a hamburger.

   You know, if I slouch in my chair at just the right angle, my fat rolls into a pretty impressive '3-pack'. Heck, I'm half way to sexy town ツ