Andrewjackson Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon my theory: every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
←Rate | 10-12-2017 06:02 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you
←Rate | 10-22-2017 08:11 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember before hand sanitizer & antibacterial soap when we slammed our faces into a slobber-filled bucket of water trying to get an apple?
←Rate | 10-28-2017 18:52 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been building my son's trust for two yrs with high-fives. Today I'm going to hit him with a "too slow". Welcome to the real world, son.
←Rate | 10-08-2017 07:07 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon When life gives you scurvy, you’re going to wish you kept those lemons.
←Rate | 10-08-2017 06:56 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
←Rate | 12-12-2017 07:22 by Andrewjackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m not saying I failed as a parent, I’m just saying my son closes the cereal box without rolling up the bag.
←Rate | 11-07-2017 21:11 by Andrewjackson Comments (0)  


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