zubindalal1 Funny Status Messages

   Marriage is a workshop.........The husband works & The wife shops

   I don't understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife.

   Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome.

   Expecting your guy to be romantic all the time is like expecting you to behave like a porn star all the time.

   A woman has sued a hospital, stating that, after recent treatment, her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: 'All we did was correct his eyesight'

   They say 1in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I'm not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.

   I saved my girlfriends phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'. Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.

   My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR

   My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife.

   People say drinking milk makes you stronger. I drunk 5 glasses of milk and tried to move a wall. It didn't work. Then, I drank 5 glasses of vodka and the wall moved alone!!

   The Royal family are said to be "disappointed" over a French magazine publishing pictures of Kate Middleton topless. Me too, they're tiny.

   Sorry if you don't like my Honesty. But to be fair I don't like your lies

   My wife is so much more attractive without having glasses on. That's why I always take mine off when I get home from work!

   You can't say happiness without saying penis. Coincidence ? I think NOT...

   I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!

   Husband-Y r there torn condoms lying on sofa? Wife-What? Where? Wife goes 2 find them & comes back angrily saying-Will you stop calling our children “Torn condoms”?

   If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who are the men fooling around with?

   Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying - "I love you" to his Own Wife !!!

   "Give It To Me" She Screamed, "I'm getting Wet, Give It To Me Now".... "Screw Off" I replied "This Is My Umbrella"

   Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she said, "Remember, you have a wife."