welton Funny Status Messages

   It's all fun and games until they let the police dog loose..

   I have horrible gaydar. When I saw a couple of guys making out, I thought they were just excited for the start of the NFL season.

   Not every relationship is to learn a life lesson. Sometimes it's for a new steak marinade, unsafe sexual position or where not to vacation.

   What if I actually used to have a teenage son but his "I wish I was never born" wish came true after the fight we had when I asked him to take out the garbage? ...Take care son, Daddy loves you!

   Preseason football is like watching the JV basketball team play before the Varsity.

   This old couple kept staing at me while I was eating my ice cream cone so when I finished, I ate the napkin too!

   What's it like to be married? Ever just wish that oncoming trailor truck would just cross that yellow line just a little when she's driving alone and not paying attention?

   If I'm ever in a convenience that is getting robbed, I'm loading my pockets before the police get there.