udit Funny Status Messages

   The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

   Life isn't a fairy tale. It's a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff colouring book with missing pages and random highlighted passages that make no sense to anyone but the author.

   How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?

   The best thing about Valentine's Day is that it's over.

   Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.

   That moment when you see your EX with that person they told you not to worry about during your relationship...

   My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.

   What is love? I don't even want an answer. I'm just ecstatic knowing that at least 90% of you thought "Baby, don't hurt me."

   You don't know heartbreak until you see the waiter coming to your table with food but then take a sharp turn to a different table.

   Girls have their phone nonstop. So if they don't text you back within 30 minutes, she ain't feeling you bro.

   So many girls are in a relationship with single guys.

   The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.

   If they feel the need to point out your flaws, THEY might be your biggest one.

   To my future kids: You'll start off with a flip phone. Idgaf if the iPhone 15 is out by then, you're gonna know the struggle.

   Facebook got 2 billion to burn even though the site is 90% candy crush requests & fake news that tricked your grandma.

   If you're ever feeling down on your appearance, remember: even the ugliest potato can become a beautiful French fry

   As soon as you get in a relationship, everyone wanna send you that 'I miss you' text.

   Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote, I do not understand the correlation.

   Don't be upset that you're single; be happy that someone isn't ruining your life.

   Love is very strong.. It can remove tears, fears & even underwears.