sellers Funny Status Messages

   i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand

   Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!

   Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

   I woke up at 3am naked and holding a watermelon.

   Have you noticed you very rarely hear one liners about cocaine.

   Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela

   For a guy who isn't affected by gravity, I'm pretty down to earth

   it tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

   Just seen the Facebook group: "I wish my laptop had unlimited battery".What, a plug?

   I bought a treadmill today.It's giving me a run for my money

   chasing vodka with french fries

   We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

   I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

   I got water trapped in my ears after taking a shower.. It was a near deaf experience

   i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

   I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'