rudedog Funny Status Messages

   Today I seen a hitchiker giving me a thumbs up.....I guess he like my Facebook status??

   A homeless man comes up to asking for change,I say"change comes from within" he looked stunned.

   in an open relationship with Maria Shriver

   I got in trouble at the movie theaters for putting a 'wet floor' sign infront of the door to"Magic Mike"

   Dear Schwarzenegger, You were a 'Running man' from your 'True Lies',and your 'Predator' ways will have you spending your 'End of Days' with 'Junior'. Good thing it wasn't 'Twins'.(mood:first mistake was going 'Commando')

   you know you have been drinking to much when a cop get's behind your car and you ask yourself if you had been drinking today!

   Fella's: If your wife says she might be pregnant. Saying"I am pro choice" Is frowned upon......apparently!

   am giving up a few negative people for lent. So, if you call,text,facebook or email and I don't get to back to you?? Odds are it was you

   Believing Harold Camp is kinda like believing O.J. Simpson as a character witness at a murder trial

   I watched Abc's show 'Happy Ending'....totally not what I expected. It was a regular show. WTF! haha!!!!(mood:cheated)

   Happy Humpday ...........hump like a camel and get down and dirty like frog nuts!

   Im not saying your chick is ugly at all. She just reminds me of Bald Bull on Mike Tyson's punchout

   I ran out of deodorant this morning and tried my wife's Secret deodorant and I can tell you fella's it really is "strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman."

   A smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.

   Judging from all the Facebooks post,I am coming out with a fragrance that smells like fresh rain!