nb Funny Status Messages

   The person that thinks they're always right is the one person you want to be always wrong

   I can't decide if the new guy is a really nice helpful kind guy or if he's a creepy serial killer type.It's such a fine line sometimes

   I always thought someone coughing all day got right on my nerves. It appears I was wrong, it's actually someone sniffing

   The worlds economy is in a terrible state, the Ice caps are melting, the Rain Forest is being destroyed and now apparently Justin Bieber has reproduced. Can things get any worse?

   Some people think the world absolutely revolves around them. Not once have they asked how my day is going

   Do you answer the call or do you revel in the power when someone calls out begging for toilet paper

   Shakira attacked by a Sea Lion.. early reports show that it could attack again whenever, wherever

   I've reached that time of day on a Friday afternoon when I know I'm not going to get anything worthwhile done so the only solution is to not even bother

   Roses are Red,Violets are blue, My knobs in your mouth, best you don't chew

   Taking my wife to see the Muppets tonight. I hope her mum cooks something I like this time

   I hate the expression "Is it just me or...." Of course it's just you or I'd have said it as well

   My wife's going to be happy with tonight's planned tv. There's going to be balls moving all the screen. Champions League starts again tonight

   My boss just said can you come in my office. It turns out we meant different things

   Jobs of your boss: 5% to pay your wages. 95% to annoy the hell out of you

   Yesterday the weather was cold and miserable. Today it's sunny and hot. Global warming you've got to love it

   Why do I know all the words to Cher's Shoop Shoop song? And why is it impossible to look cool when you get caught singing it in traffic