mtravica Funny Status Messages

   this is just a temporary status...until I think of something better

   i love it when I get tailgated on a bumpy road and the driver behind me has no time to avoid the really big pothole that takes away his body kit.

   why do people keep asking dogs "whos a good boy then". My dog told me he thinks the question is patronizing.

   I completed one push up without stopping. Normally I go half way then take a break

   i dont mind walking past bushes alone on a dark night. What I do mind is when people start jumping out of them

   dont ask me about anything thats about to happen last year

   Im good at peeling potatoes and my cooking is terrible. I have always dreamed of working in a prison kitchen.

   I'm wearing the boxer shorts with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail...

   Elderly drivers. Pressing the pedal on the right will make your car go a little faster. Forget all that rubbish about suffocating at speeds above 20 kmh. It was all a myth.

   its midnight and theres a party next door. I dont know what to bring. I think I'll bring my lawnmower

   middle of the night and in my boring backyard. No gold to dig up and no dead bodies to bury...sigh

   the guy that drives behind me normally chewing his finger was eating a pizza this morning. I was curious to find out the topping so I hit the brakes suddenly. It was pineapple and ham

   My update for the week. See you next week.

   My neighbor is sleeping off his hangover on my front lawn again. I think he needs another drink.

   watching a cooking show full of dumb hosts and arrogant chefs. Yes, I think they should all try the smelly sauerkraut water - and choke to death.

   FEMALE SHOP assistants. When a car mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed, and charge them $50 labour costs for the transaction.

   it was a JOKE that I had my status as female on facebook....i have changed that...now can people please stop calling me "chicky babe"

   eating chocolate+ shooting singing cats with my water gun= happiness