moon Funny Status Messages

   Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.

   When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend, but now thanks to Facebook I have hundreds of them!

   Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.

   Just got my first shot and going to get another one just as soon as I can get the waitresses attention.

   When I was a kid we used to keep our Facebook accounts secure with a lock and key we used to call a diary.

   I think I might have spent a quarter of my life just staring into the refrigerator.

   If you drop a cookie on the floor and bend down to pick it up does that count as a squat?

   if you want a sneak preview of the new IPhone 8 just look at your IPhone 7 and pretend it cost $999 more.

   So how did Amish.com happen?

   A word of advice guys, When a girl says "Aw that's that's very sweet of you" when you ask her out on a date what she's really trying to say is "Back into the friends zone with you!"

   Funny how the most romantic gesture you can make nowadays while on a date to show the person your with that your truly interested is done by not looking at your phone.

   After owning my phone for almost a year I finally figured out how to make the fonts bigger, which will make walking easier.

   Word of advice guys. When a girl says "Awe thanks, that's so sweet of you" take a hint as what she's really trying to say is "Back to the friendzone with you!"

   Just once in my life I'd like to finish a project as easily as they make it seem in the how to YouTube videos.

   A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.

   Besides my good looks, honesty, charm, witty personality and my incredible sense of humor I have to say that my greatest characteristic is my modesty.

   I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.

   When I was a kid, selfies used to be called narcissism.

   I wonder what facebook employees do to kill time at work?

   The best sign of a intimate relationship are no pictures of it on Facebook.