momofthewildthings Funny Status Messages

   I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.

   If I select the "Advance Pat Down" option instead of the Full Body Scanner, do I get some Barry White music and a nice glass of Merlot?

   "Thank You" is such an insignificant phrase, yet we put so much into it. When we say "Thank You" to a vet or active duty officer, what comes out is 2 simple words, but what is meant is a world of un-seen gratitude, hope, peace and safety. No, "Thank You"

   The Insomnia Train has arrived. I didn't want to board, but I was shoved. Now I'm sitting here, I have no clue where I'll end up and I don't like the company. I sure wish it was The Crazy Train instead.

   just got a letter from The Man in Red "You have been placed on the naughty list....permanently" I can't say this was unexpected.

   I always laugh at myself. If I didn't, everyone else would be having fun without me.

   MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!! The fact that you have a "Baby on Board" sign in your back window does not exempt you from getting your ass rammed if you insist on driving 55mph in the left lane...regardless of the posted speed. You have been warned.

   There should be a Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt that says "Yes they're fake! My real one's tried to kill me!"

   I really don't give a flying fig WHO is in the Super Bowl. I just want to know who's hosting the party.

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   not sure why I should care that Favre is saying he is finally going to retire. Really? Isn't like the 15 millionth time he's said as much? Hey Brett! Ever heard of the story about the boy who cried wolf?

   As I sit here eating Cheerios out of a plastic bowl, it makes me miss my kids in their toddler years. I think I'll get a High-Chair and make them eat dinner in it. I hope the weight limit is higher than 150lbs. Teenagers weigh a lot.