mhenry Funny Status Messages

   Working with 4 women and married to another, I don't forsee being a polygamist anytime in my future

   Tip this cab driver $5 he continued staring at me like I was going to give him more with his hand open, I took my $5 back, the tip is be grateful and stop being greedy

   Don't worry about it, the next man no matter how much he is smiling and acting like they got it together is struggling too! Keep fighting.

   Lady in the grocery store, your kid is about 4 years old, don't you think he needs to walk and not have his feet dragging in the stroller?

   T-Pain, 50 Cent,Drake, Nelly, Kanye West, LIL Wayne, Soulja Boy and numerous rappers from down south, you are all wanted for the murder of HIP HOP, HIP HOP was last seen in the late 90's and has disapeared since.

   I felt like an escaped hostage after finally getting off the phone with this long winded guy...do

   Fast food drive thru 5 me 0, can you get my order right please!

   You can't say your girlfriend is a multi-tasker but she likes gangbangs!

   Big decision, watching the World Cup vs watching paint dry. Watching paint dry wins!

   NFL= National Flag League

   Too bad people can't smell their own breath, this guy came to solicit at my front door this morning and his breath was scalding. He needed a Listerine popsicle!

   Life lesson....never put Preparation H next to the toothpaste in the morning.....YUCK!

   Alone is not bad, remember to be murdered is normally in the company off at least one other person

   learning life lesson number 68, don't fry bacon naked!...ouch

   Had my accupuncture appointment earlier this afternoon, I discovered that I had to pee after about the 10th needle was put in me

   Banks today are sending out pre-declined offers!