johnny5 Funny Status Messages

   be nice to me.. with minimum effort I can make things very very difficult

   hates leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

   having a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

   Welcome to Facebook. Feel free to attack, judge and air your own and everyone Else's dirty laundry!! Don't forget to keep it Catty and Cryptic!!

   you've just received an Amish Virus. Since we don't have electricity or computers, you're on the honor system. Please delete your files. Thank thee

   Dear Warner Brothers: Now that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.

   I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

   has been wondering... if you force sex on a hooker is it rape or shoplifting??

   walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." he said, "No, just taking a sh*t".

   eating his cocoa puffs and when I am done I will drink the chocolate milk!!! yeah that's right that's how I roll!

   You must be a parking ticket... cause you got fine written all over you "Giggidi Giggidi Giggidi GOO" !

   just heard that LITTLE TWIT Justin Bieber say "yo dawg" during an interview.. WTF !! When is his 15min gonna be up?

   It must be spring, I just saw 2 crackheads pawning a space heater. Who needs a groundhog?

   wonders why it is "cool" to throw up the PEACE sign in pictures? You look retarded with your head twisted to the side and holding up the peace sign...

   statistically, 6 out of 7 midgets aren't happy...

   it rude of me to ask the nice philipino girl at the new Comcast Call Center (in the phillipines) to transfer me back to America? She lied and said her name was Mary.. We all know her name was NOT Mary.

   BEER - Helping white men dance since 1881.

   ...Can someone to tell me why there is braille on drive thru ATM machines. Am I missing something here??