gg Funny Status Messages

   Hey like if you remember pressing the power button turning the tv off and playing outside having a awesome childhood.

   anyone who says "I hate to break it to you", can't f#$^ing wait to break it to you.

   in Ben Affleck's version of Batman. Bruce Wayne's parents kill themselves

   "so that's what Kim Kardashian's ass looks like" said no one ever.

   do snitches still get stiches under obamacare?

   My wife says I treat her like a child. ha kids these days

   remember when being homecoming queen meant you were hot and popular

   people that say " I hate to break it to you" can't wait to break it to you!

   popen ain't easy- Benedict

   when the movie "cloudy with a chance of meatballs"premiered in China did they call it "raining cats and dogs"?

   Just a matter of time till they have an iPhone that recognizes us by our blood alcohol level.

   It's not your fault you guys aren't funny... but thanks for the effort in trying.

   if you get enough maylasian airline frequent flyer miles you can trade them in for a tombstone

   I don't know much about the history of war, but Iwo Jima taught me one thing. those flags were really heavy back then.

   Flexibility is essential for mind stability

   The Tick Tock clock is ticking.