gb Funny Status Messages

   You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!

   Does the career advice, "Come early on your first day" apply in the porn business?

   Man Ive been sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, have a stuffy head, and a fever... is there any kind of medication that I can take for that and it will help me rest???

   I heard Cialis has a new spokesman... Randy Johnson!

   thinks there should be a Shart Week!

   The vet confirmed my dog is now officially lame. I'll start walking her in Ed Hardy gear then

   Perfect day today... I think i'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name! I just can't stay inside all day! I gotta get out, get me some of those rays!

   I just bent down to pet my cat, and it wasn't my cat. It turns out to be a sweater crumbled on the floor. I need better glasses!

   Its so hot outside right now that I'm getting hot flashes... and I'm a man!

   Its says "omg Cholesterol" on my Box of Honey Nut Cheerios... is that bad???