gay Jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   Mayor Bloomberg is going to outlaw large sodas. Good to know that New York City is officially out of legitimate problems to deal with.

   *Lance begins to cry. Oprah leans in* I think what you need Lance is a....performance enhancing hug

   Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I'll ever get to yoga

   Zuckerberg was going to steal your photos but saw that copyright status you posted and went back to having more money than you ever will.

   If I had a chainsaw, that would be my answer to everything

   schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate.

   Lol here come all the brand new Redskins fans

   f all of your pics are taken from from an overhead angle, I have to presume you have a big hairy mole on the bottom of your chin.

   look, I'm only liking your status to let you know that I read it so you won't try to tell me about it later.

   Damn you hot girls on FaceBook who post "beach day!" pics but 'only share photos with friends'

   I wish the cast of Jersey Shore had to compete in the Hunger Games.

   Les Miserables is French for "It's two and a half hours"

   Tarantino sounds like a brand of frozen pizzas

   Making snow angels & writing Ron Paul underneath because people need to know the truth

   I comb my hair using a fork and start talking about astrology to myself each time I see a Jehovahs Witness walking towards me in a restaurant.

   You look me in my eye and tell me that I don't have what it takes to be a Cyclops.

   Somewhere, Joe Rogan's date is texting while he talks about supplements

   turns out, Chanting "I'm not creepy" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy.

   Ladies, please. Enough with the fighting. I have plenty of tentacles for everyone.

   Please stop praying for my grandpa you are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their guns don't work on him