aznsensation Funny Status Messages

   I swear, its like EVERY payday I gotta spend money cause there's a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a baby shower, a new video game, a new stripper, something. Always something...

   You know you're short when you can see your feet in your driver's license!

   Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club

   My wife says I dont listen to her or something like that.

   The best part of waking up........................is going back to sleep!

   A Jehova Witness tried to tell me a "Knock Knock" joke, but got all mad cause I didn't answer him.

   OMFG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!

   If Miley Cyrus wore a g-string, you'd still be able to see the string.

   You know it's cold out when you see a hitch hiker with his hands in his pockets, and a big thumb on his shirt.

   TOP 3 signs I need to lose weight this year.......3-The horse on my Polo shirt is real 2-When I take the elevator, I have to go down 1-A picture of me fell off the wall

   My 10yr old daughter says I'm nosey! Well........that's what she said in her diary.

   That sh1tty moment when ur CapriSun doesn't have a straw.

   Damn this brotha is BLACK! Looking like 2:15 in the damn morning!

   My son got a Student of the Month award today. It wasn't his, but still...

   WOOHOO! Passed my AIDS test! Got a 74%!

   People say when I dance, it looks like I'm looking for my keys.