YODA Funny Status Messages

   I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny

   The mega winner says she picked the numbers by her kids birthdays… Please tell me what month has 39 days

   Sometimes I hang up on people in the middle of my own sentance so they think I lost service...

   Meaningless statistics are up 17% today

   If you're not part of the solution, you may be part of the team I work for...

   Many things can be preserved in alcohol, dignity is not one of them...

   Happy Halloween... may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong! ;-)

   Some play hard to get, I play hard to want

   A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.

   nothing makes you a hypocrite like becoming a parent...

   Today's yoga position is called "the underpaid employee"... It involves bending over and kissing ass at the same time.

   I love tan lines... it's like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)

   You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body....

   Allergy season must be near... blooming idiots are everywhere

   it considered child labor if they think they are playing a game?

   I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus

   Thanksgiving may be the only time some people in California see real breasts

   Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.

   if you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut

   t amazes me that Playboy have explored the idea of making pop-up books yet.