Seanathon Funny Status Messages

   What's with all the relationship post?! This ain't Dr.Phil! Be Funny..or Be out!

   Why is driving so hard for some people? I mean, its like coloring! All you do is stay between the f*cking lines!

   Please hurry up with your story.. That I care absolutely nothing about... I'm afraid if I keep this fake smile on my face any longer, its guna get stuck this way.

   Its daylight saving time again people.. An you know what that means.. Playing another week of “Well it should really be this time instead of that time"We get it! Happens twice a year!

   Dear Facebook... How can I be near the town I'm already in?!.....Near Stfu!

   Talk is cheap... Thats why everyone can afford to talk so much sh!t!

   Sooo.. In between Mundane Monday.. And Whip'em Out Wednesday.. I now proclaim today as.."Touch ur Toes Tuesday!" Because people are just so eager to F*ck you every chance they can get!

   I'm kind of scared about what the future is going to bring...Pretty soon were all going to have microchips inplanted in our heads...We'll be able to take and upload pictures just by a blink of an eye.

   Theres no manly way to say.. "Honey can you pass me my Girl Scout Cookies?"

   Its called Facebook people.. Not Show your body (that you still clearly need to work on) book!

   Why is it when I press 1 for English when calling "Tech Support"... I get someone that doesnt even speak f*ckin english!!!

   Don't call me son unless you're going to include me in your will.

   Don't You know what they say about Martini's?....Martini's are like T!tt!es.. 1's not enough and 3 too many!

   If I wanted your opinion...I'd ask you to fill out the neccesary forms!

   Just because I liked your status... Doesnt mean you have to like mine 2 seconds after... Didnt know you liked the idea of me sittin on the toliet..

   F*CK! I think I need to put the booze down...Ive been cookin this damn turkey for 450 minutes at 15 degrees... When do I rotate it?!

   I'll be Black you stay White here!

   Its a t!t bit nipply outside... I breast go in where its a little bit hooter

   Some people on Facebook always post funny stuff.. Some people always post lovey dovey stuff.. And Some people posts.. Just make you wana scream..STFU Already!

   I love how people fight via facebook when their in relationships... Why even bother changing the relationship status to single.. When you know you ass is guna change it back in 15mins! Do us all a favor an STFU!