RC Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

   If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

   I had a fight with my shoelaces this morning. It ended up in a tie.

   In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

   When the zombie apocalypse finally starts, I am running straight to the graveyard to play the most epic game of whack-a-mole ever.

   My husband understands that when we argue, and I say "Fine, do what you want." I really mean "If you do that, I will stab you in your sleep."

   use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for solitaire.

   I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.....

   Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

   WWJD (Who Wants Jelly Donuts?

   According to my neighbor's diary, I have boundary issues.

   I'm amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I'm still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!