OsamaBinDead Funny Status Messages

   Most common lie used by women.... "I dont usually do this the first night"

   We should cease calling them ski masks, because really only robbers wear them.

   Okay, in case we get caught... lets get our stories straight

   5 reasons why I'm not a pimp. I remember birthdays, I give rides to the airport, I lend money to people, I relax on sundays and I have a horrible backhand..

   We cannot allow gays to marry! It would destroy the sanctity of our prestigious divorce rate.

   Im starting to think my dog is a spy... she has simply seen too much

   Captain dislike came through and hated all the funny things he cant come up with... some one get the bad news bear some f**kin honey

   im just grading some cheese...

   why buy a 6-pack when you can buy a 12-pack, why buy a 12-pack when you can buy a 24-pack.... screw it, I'm gettin a handle of jack