NJS Funny Status Messages

   Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day when they are lying in hospitals, dying of nothing

   2012 doesn't mean the end of the world. It just means its time to buy a new Mayan calendar...that's how a f*cking calendar works. It ends.

   What concert ticket costs 0.45 cents? .... 50 cent Feat. Nickleback....

   We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.

   I had my family tree done… turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.

   There is one vision that gives me constant happiness, your two enormous breasts

   If I was the richest person in the world...I'd trade it all in for a little more.

   I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did

   Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades.

   I had a cab driver in Paris. The man smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

   You say I'm afraid of commitment, but maybe it's you that's afraid of total uncertainty.

   God created sex. Priests created marriage

   The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

   apparently there is a limit to how long you can wait to exhale ♥ rip whitney houston