Morm Funny Status Messages

   This just isn't my day... It could be raining t*tties and I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck...

   There's only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.

   no one looks back on there lifes and remember the nights they got plenty of sleep.

   I haven’t wanted to drink an ice cold beer this bad in a bar since I was underage.

   My boss asked me why I wasn't working today. I dont him I was going as Obama Care for Halloween

   I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I think that means I have 2020 vision

   The fishin was so bad the mosquitos weren't even biting

   If that dress isn't Gold and White I'm not living

   Need an Ark?, I Noah Guy. 

   I haven't seen a beatin' like that since someone stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.

   Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.

   Finally figured out what twitter was today, the thing between the twaat and the sh*tter.

   Wanted GF. A girl with good cooking skills and a jet ski, please show pic of jet ski.

   when life throws skittles at you and tells you to taste the rainbow, just throw m&ms back and say I'm not afraid.

   you know its cold outside when you go outside and its cold