Mas Funny Status Messages

   For a song called " piano man" dude with the harmonica won't shut the hell up

   Thou Shalt Not Contact People From Your Distant Past While Intoxicated

   Give up carbs?? Over my bread body!!

   We are 3 months into 2019 and it's still January

   Someone on my fb just posted they had just backed synonym buns. I replied, you mean the ones grammar use to make? Now I'm blocked

   Definition of "irony" getting pregnant on a pull-out couch

   18 school shootings since Jan. 1st...by the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.

   not watching jersey shores!!!!!!

   girl its your booty..not your beauty!!!!

   Left the back door open at my friend's house and her roomba escaped. Hope he goes on an adventure and cleans the whole world