Grumpy Funny Status Messages

   They just left Jeffrey Toobin hanging there.

   I'm not afraid to admit it. It's time like these that I like go to my "special place", and caress my emotional support firearms.

   I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds this morning . His mom was furious.

   In an effort to be sensitive to the current atmosphere. Wild Cherry has changed the name of their 1970's hit to simply "Play us an upbeat song Cracker".

   it just me, or does Jerry Nadler look like he should be baking cookies in a tree.

   Jeffrey Toobin said he was willing to lend a hand, with Thursdays debate.

   Does the White House have a " "smoking room"? Asking for Hunter.

   I heard Biden went on a trip today.

   Breaking news!!! They are making a sequel to "Unforgiven" . It's called "Look, I said I was sorry".

   Apparently my wife was just tying her shoe, and didn't want to play leapfrog

   What did Jill say to Joe, when he left the White House, this morning? "Have a safe trip."

   Farting under the covers is no longer called a dutch oven. It’s now a "covid test". If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.

   Breaking news!! Biden overheard telling Dr Jill, that Executive Orders were like Lay's potato chips. He stated "They're so good, no one, can sign just one".

   Got up early this morning, and fertilized the yard. My neighbor still won't look me in the eye.

   CNN+ didn't even last as long as a Kardashian marriage.

   This coming up Winter Olympics, I'm going to self identify as a woman, and compete in the women's " Snow writing " competition.