Eric Funny Status Messages

   Thank god for smartphones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom

   that akward moment when she pulls out one bigger than yours

   Ever notice how banks and credit cards want you to go paperless to save a tree? Since I need those documents for my records I have to print them at home. So I'm using my paper instead of theirs. No trees are saved and I get screwed. Yay!

   Today's Quote "Not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!

   how can I miss you if you won't go away?

   wondering if its cool in China to get English words tattooed on their arms.

   now officaly talking to Himself but somehow I hear a busy signal in my ears. I wonder if I can get Call Waiting????? Wait.... maybe it's better I don't answer myself...

   "wondering what flavor milkshake ""brings all the boys to the yard"""

   If North Korea attacks, there won't be a war. The counterattack will go down in history as a case of assisted suicide.

   Favorite Animal is Grey Goose

   I wonder if the lamestream media has anything better to do today than follow around the crazy lady on the bus or worry about pics of congressmen in their underwear? Focus people! There's real news happening all over the world!

   Jumped up for no apparent reason. Have not returned to the ground yet.

   While I'm Gone....Just smile it's the 2nd Best thing you can do with your Lips....

   got excited when he had a "Group Request" in Facebook. Sadly though, it wasn't even close to the type of "groups" he had dreams about ..

   Starting to think my Imaginary friend has serious issues....Hey!! You better get down from there, If you fall and break your legs don't come running back to me Pal.....What!!!! Don't look at me with that tone of voice...