Dude Funny Status Messages

   Gay Divorce Court is going to be hilarious.

   When did comedian Ron White turn into an old lesbian?

   Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.

   Phil Robertson just learned the hard way that once you get sponsorships you can no longer express your opinion...unless your sponsors give you that opinion.

   Exercise, eat right, get good sleep, take your vitamins...die anyway.

   Yea, the Duggars. You spit out that many kids, 1 or 2 are bound to be defective.

   Mayweather hugged on Manny more during that fight then my dad did the whole time I was growing up.

   Someday, I'll be as rich as the Clinton's were when they said they were broke.

   Does Joel Osteen give anyone else the creeps or is it just me?

   Ladies, if you ever get a big ego because a lot of guys want to get with you, just remember this, some guys have been known to get it on with farm animals.

   You're doable, not dateable. Know your place.

   It's sad when your chances of winning the lottery are BETTER than getting a decent raise at work.

   New Jersey residents are being advised to NOT eat the fish washed up in the sewer. Which is ironic considering the sewer is the cleanest part of New Jersey.

   Honey, guys don't want to get with you because you're hot, they want to get with you because you're easy. Know the difference.

   With all the craziness going on in the world, I can just say; stay strapped, my friends.

   It’s an employee’s job to respect management but it's managements job to give them something to respect.

   If gay couple want to get married and be just as miserable as straight couples, let'em.

   If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.

   When did old skanks become cougars?

   I just got bukkaked by a Krispy Kreme