Dfotravels Funny Status Messages

   ...reminds you that today is Administrative Professionals Day and Hump Day, but it is NOT Hump Your Administrative Assistant Day...

   says Happy Friday @ 5:00 pm! If an ice cold, tall, 22 ounce Miller Lite is wrong, I dont wanna be right...

   ‎...just heard that angered by today's Federal indictment for lying to Congress about his use of steroids and human growth hormones, Roger Clemens threw a car at reporters...

   ...just heard that Britney told E! that Paris doesn't have a problem with drugs. isn't that like asking Chester Cheetah if the Cookie Monster has a problem with carbs...

   ...just heard that the Jackson family has asked, In honor of the 1-year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, that all child actors wear their pants at "half-staff" today...

   ...didn't even know that Lindsay Lohan was addicted to milk. I thought it was crack...

   wishing everyone a "Happy Earth Day", and is reminding you to keep our planet clean, it's not Uranis..

   ...is hoping that Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan find each other...

   ...is about as useful today as an appendix transplant...

   ...can't believe how less sophisticated and superstitious the people of Egypt seem like on tv. I mean it's ridiculous!! Hey, did anyone see whether the ground hog saw his shadow today??....

   ...Today's Random English Tip: Remember, it's 'i' before 'e', except in Budweiser, where it's 'e' before 'i', and then several 'p's afterward...

   ...wondering why the police never send out any "feline units"...

   ...is wondering if some other horse went all "Tonya Harding" on former Derby favorite Eskendereya... 

   ...it's so cold out, I just Googled, "how to induce menopause"...

   ...is upset about all of these celebrity deaths. First, Rue McClanahan, then, Gary Coleman, and now, Jimmy Dean. I guess you could summarize it as the loss of "sex, drugs, and sausage rolls"....

   wondering if pediatricians and children's dentists play miniature golf on Wednesdays...

   upset about all of these celebrity deaths. First, Rue McClanahan, then, Gary Coleman, and now, Jimmy Dean. I guess you could summarize it as the loss of "sex, drugs, and sausage rolls"...

   ...I can't believe we haven't heard anything else from Michael Douglas. I guess the cat's got his tongue...