Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

   Dear Kanye West,--- Take the diaper off your daughter and put it around your face. A lot of crap has been coming from it lately

   The only people mad at you for speaking the TRUTH are the ones living a LIE.

   if a person starts a sentence with, "Not to sound like an a**hole..." Guess what they're gonna sound like....?

   Dear Terrorist, I don't get why you kill people in the name of God. If God wanted to take someone's life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking for your help.

   why can't Twitter just die already?

   Bill Clinton has been acting funny ever since Michael Douglas made that oral sex comment.

   It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.

   why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?

   Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?

   Silence doesn't always mean 'Yes'. Sometimes it means "I'm tired of explaining to people who don't even care to understand."

   You can do a thousand GOOD things and a a hundred GREAT things. But if you do just one BAD thing, people will remember you for that.

   Biggest Social Networking Crime: You haven't seen someone for years; you vaguely recognize their name but not their face. They add you as a friend on Facebook and then after you accept them, you never hear from them again.

   Thank you Pringles® for being the only chip company that doesn't sell air.

   Celebrating 6 yrs of a social epidemic.Congrats Facebook for connecting people with friends;old,new,and weird. Using up people's time online. Poking as many women as possible.F*cking up relationships/marriages,and checking up on people's exaggerated lives

   Facebook: the only book teens read these days.

   I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

   My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard"

   It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it....That's Hollywood

   "If you're good at something, never do it for free" ~ The Joker (The Dark Knight)