Chelsea Funny Status Messages

   just read that burglars use Facebook to find out when people aren't home... so from now on, i'm at home, with a knife, and a hungry alligator (:

   so I go to walmart and see two problems, 1. they have a justin bieber doll and 2. you press his crotch to hear him sing...

   I just made a milkshake and now all the boys are in my yard..

   things I learned from frank sinatra 1. a lady never leaves her escort and 2. a lady doesn't wander all over the room and blow on some other guys dice.

   My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

   Just found out the results of my mammogram - I tested positive for having boobs

   hanging out with charlie sheen, no explanation needed.

   work me harder, makes me better, do me faster makes me stronger.