COREY Funny Status Messages

   My life hasn't been the same since McDonald's removed the HI-C orange drink from their stores!!

   says having kids means having pictures in my wallet where I used to have money!!

   thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!

   thinks it's great that my truck will tell me when I have low air pressure in one of my tires...nut it would be even better if it told me WHICH freaking tire needed the air!!

   used to sing like Justin Bieber...then I turned 4!!

   would rather check Facebook, than face his checkbook!

   never really understood why Clark Griswold lusted after Christie Brinkley, when he had a smoking hot wife like Beverly D'Angelo!!

   wondering if Tiger Woods is dreaming of a White Mistress?

   Hey Florida, if you need an Ark, I Noah guy!!

   wonders why when you are eating Starburst and ask someone if they would like one, they always want a "red" one?

   wondering if Sugar Daddies get anything for Father's Day?

   just heard about the 2 blondes that froze to deat at the drive in...they were watching "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER"!!

   resides on the top of Mountain Dew.

   ran my first 5k today...finally I said, "Lady, take your purse!!"

   a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!

   wondering if Shaq has my back, how come he never pays my cable bill?

   had a girlfriend with a wooden leg, until he broke it off!

   wondering how much you would do for a klondike bar.

   Buck you fuddy, and your whole dod gam family! Why don't you go backoff in your own jackyard and see ho your fussy peels?