BCJ Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

   Whenever I date a woman, I think to myself, "Is this a woman that I want my children to spend every other weekend with?

   Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out & my pants off but that doesn't narrow it down much.

   Women are strange...before marriage they expect a man,after marriage they suspect the man,and after he dies they respect the man!

   Send me your FarmVille invitation... So, I can have it foreclosed and evicted by the end of the day.

   If a person offends you, do not resort to extremes, simply watch your chance and hit them in the head with a brick.

   It wouldn't be a normal Sunday on the couch watching the Baltimore/Indianapolis game without the Erectile Dysfunction commercial. 4 hours? Goddamn.