B Funny Status Messages

   new years eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early

   I was addicted to Tide Pods.....but I'm clean now.

   May your dirty socks crawl up upon your face as you sleep

   People tend to have two reasons for doing a thing; one that sounds good and a real one.

   How about something colder than a bucket full of ice? Like a bucket full of your exes hearts.

   you learn alot about one's Backbone, Mainly when they say one thing to your face and another behind your back.

   if this is what hell is with weather in Chicago, than I am repenting as we speak!

   When you tell a woman to show her teeth when she smiles, make sure you pronounce the word "Teeth" correctly to avoid being slapped.