Arm Funny Status Messages

   treat everyone as you would like to be treated... except in bed, "that" could be illegal in some countries or religions!

   Arnold might not make a good dad... the whole "Hasta la vista baby" issue should have been the first clue!

   There's no premature ejaculation, the truth is that women arrive late everywhere!

   that that tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!

   Does this status update make me look fat?

   if cows could fly, would they all migrate to India?

   to those actresses who say they won't do nudity if it isn't important to the plot, they should do porn... there nudity IS the plot!

   I'm bipolar, my boyfriend had me tested

   That today a small kid dressed in diapers with a bow and arrow came knocking on my door and I turned the hose on him.... come to think about it I might be confusing Halloween with Valentine's Day!

   have you noticed that when somebody in a movie is told to look out the window they never go to the wrong one?

   all of mankind can be divided in two groups: morning people and those who want to kill morning people...guess for which one I'm cleaning and loading my gun!

   climbed a tree yesterday and fell... I've finally matured!

   666: Some see it as evil, I see it as 3 six-packs!

   definition of work: activities carried out to maximize the time between two tantrums from my boss!

   a folder named SPAM... ironically none of the mails reference meat but most of them talk about wieners!

   Luis Suarez has signed with barcelona for 70 million euros...that's a big bite out of the team's budget!