Abel254 Funny Status Messages

   what are the bumps around a womans nipples for?it's braille for "suck here"

   I'm not breaking the rules ... I'm just testing their elasticity.

   yeah I called her up,she thinks I don't listen to her,or something,I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

   stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

   eyjafjallajokull? that's honestly more of a drunk status update than a volcano.

   ahh young love.Full of promise,full of hope.Ignorant of reality.Not all guys can turn into vampires n watch you sleep at night..am jus sayin.

   law of averages:The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

   menstruation.menopause.mental breakdowns...ever notice how all womens problems begin with men?

   women are much smarter than men.Think about it,diamonds are girls' best friend...a mans best friend is a dog.

   Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

   When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.

   Beware! I'm armed and have pre-menstrual tension!

   chinese calendar year of the cow . . .we had mad cow disease.Year of the bird . . .we had avian flu.This year its the year of the tiger...and well we have tiger woods' 'am not a prostitute,am just a sex addict' disease.Hope our women understand.

   Insanity is hereditary ... you get it from your kids.

   All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.

   If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.